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Parenting and Behavior Problems - Child's Cursing
As a parent of a toddler, I'm always on the lookout for good information on dealing with those sorts of behavior problems that pop up. So far we've been lucky and my daughter doesn't curse, but I saw this article and liked the common sense approach - so I've reprinted it here.
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How to Stop Your Child's Cursing
By Dr. Kevin Passer
Board Certified Child Psychiatrist
Behavior problems are common. One needs to know how to best handle
them. One conduct problem is Cursing. We all would of course prefer our
children did not curse. So what is the best solution?
Parents enter directly into the equation, as when we as parents curse,
our kids pick up on it and do it themselves. In fact, kids can be like
miniature tape recorders, doing everything and repeating back everything
they see and hear. Oppositional children try and push our buttons. So,
the first thing that needs to happen here is that we parents stop our
own Cursing. If you as a parent become angry and lose your cool, you
still need to try and remain calm. So our kid's will learn that when
there is stress, WE STAY CALM. I realize this is easier said than done,
but keep in mind that young children likely do not even know what the
curse words mean. They just know, that repeating the curse words
results in a big response from adults. And this big rise from us, often
spurs our kids on so they repeat the cussing again and again.
How do we best handle this childhood behavior problem? First, stop
Cursing yourself and stop reacting to your child's Cursing. Now, I will
share with you the secret weapon which ALWAYS works. The next time your
young child curses, tell he or she that what they have said is "BATHROOM
TALK." And then send your child to the bathroom, telling them to stay
in the bathroom with the door closed until they are finished with the
bathroom talk. Explain that you don't want to hear those words, that if
your child wants to say those words, they need to go in the bathroom and
shut the door and then they can say the bathroom words all they want.
But the words are to stay in the bathroom, because you don't want to
hear them. Be very matter-of-fact about it. Just say: "OK, That's
Bathroom Talk, If you want to say that, go in the bathroom and come out
when you are through, because I don't want to here those words here."
Follow through by not saying the curse words yourself and sending your
child to the bathroom each and every time a curse word is spoken. This
technique works great with children with Oppositional Defiant Disorder,
Conduct Disorder and even ADHD. It works for kids without any Mental
Illness or any other problems. I have used this technique with my own
kids as well as hundreds of time with my patients. It ALWAYS works.
There are few interventions which always work. This one does. I know
it works. It's my job.
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Kevin M. Passer, M.D.
Board Certified Child Psychiatrist
Creator of the DVD:
Parenting Help for Child Behavior Problems
This award winning DVD, created by a Child Psychiatrist who has treated over
10,000 kids, shows how to apply discipline using behavior modification .
These simple, but effective, techniques can help to improve child
conduct problems, prevent delinquency and reduce oppositional defiant
disorder (ODD).
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